2014 ~The Emile Heskey Saga~

[Fmaddict5]

 

Soooooooo i decided i wont start this career just now since its so early and i haven't even got stuff right in my own personal save yet but this will happen (I have been planning this for so long)

 

but you may be asking yourself what is gonna be happening in this career?

 

What i have planned is to make a manager by the name of Emile Heskey and make him the manager of Heskey's current team (Newcastle Jets) so Heskey will be a player-manager

 

Since Heskey is fairly old he will probably retire 2 or 3 seasons in and that's when it will get even better

 

I will be doing a story line in the eyes of Heskey as he fares his way into the challenging job of Professional Football Management. 

 

But Why am i doing this?

 

This is because I live in Australia and as a result follow a bit of the A-League, Whenever heskeys team comes down to where i live i always try and go to the match just because of him. Also because its heskey

 

 

How will you get the readers involved?

 

Well you guys the members of Fmhvibe will be Emile Heskey's board, you will give me challenges for the season and they have to be reached (I will figure out something to do if they are not reached) 

 

 

So go ahead and start giving me Challenges for the season!

 

I will start the series soon but not right now since i need to get challenges and stuff ready  

 

Also if you have any suggestions for the series or inquires just ask below 

 

[Anonymous]

At least 5 Hatricks and 10 Assists! Best of luck

[TOMER1634]

At least 35 goals and 15 Assists!

Good Luck!

[Ashez]

Heskey must keep two clean sheets (must play both 90mins in goal)

[anfieldsquirrel]

He must score against EVERY A-league team over the course of 2 seasons.

[Devil]

He must be epic...oh but he already is...

[magpiemadman]

He must score over 55 goals and over 30 assists

[Fmaddict5]

Please vote in poll  

[anfieldsquirrel]

Voted potato - no idea what you mean by it but yeah

[rafa]

POTAAAAATOOOOO

[dirtboy]

POTAAAAATOOOOO

Nothing more can be said...

[Lee-Roy]

Were does this Heskey trolling come from? I know it's been around for years now but I don't understand it? Is it some sort if Chuck Norrisesque joke?

[Fmaddict5]

Were does this Heskey trolling come from? I know it's been around for years now but I don't understand it? Is it some sort if Chuck Norrisesque joke?

 

Well i think it was from how bad he played at aston villa the jokes started coming out like the torres ones, and they just got even more popular when ksi started using them in his videos thats when a lot more people started saying them

 

the bad thing is because of the jokes people forget how good he used to be back in his Liverpool days 

[dirtboy]

Were does this Heskey trolling come from? I know it's been around for years now but I don't understand it? Is it some sort if Chuck Norrisesque joke?

Well i think it was from how bad he played at aston villa the jokes started coming out like the torres ones, and they just got even more popular when ksi started using them in his videos thats when a lot more people started saying them

the bad thing is because of the jokes people forget how good he used to be back in his Liverpool days

Just like Torres...

[Fmaddict5]

So by the looks of things everyone wants seasonly updates (and Potatoes), all i need now before i start is some more challenges 

[Devil]

Here's a challenge - every update you need to post a picture of a different potato.

[Fmaddict5]

Going to start playing it tomorrow so please add any last minute challenges

Here's a challenge - every update you need to post a picture of a different potato.

Interesting.....................................

[UKFootballScore]

I'm thinking a good challenge would be that Heskey has to get exactly 19 goals or something not under not over 19 on the DOT!

[Fmaddict5]

I'm thinking a good challenge would be that Heskey has to get exactly 19 goals or something not under not over 19 on the DOT!

 

A bit tough haha 

Writing the pre-season right now! probably wont be out soon though

[Fmaddict5]

When it does (this) this is heskey thinking in his head:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It all started when I was called into the Boards Office from my holiday on a typical warm Australian Day….

 

 

 

Hello Emile

 

 Umm excuse me but who are you?

 

 Im Dec and I am the new owner of the Newcastle Jets

 

(who the hell is this bloke?, why didn’t anyone tell me we have new owners?)

 

 How come I haven’t heard about any new owners then

 

 Because its not official yet, ive called you in here for a very tempting proposal

 

(This guy looks shifty, and DAMN he needs a mint)

 

 what is it?

 

Dec: Im offering you the manager’s role Emile are you up for it?

 

 Wait what me? Out of all people me!? But I haven’t even done a course! Im sorry mate but I cant

do this

 

 Emile you are our no.1 option for the job we really want you to lead this team to glory

 

 Even if for some stupid reason I would take this job what about my playing career?

 

 *sighs* how about this, you can continue your career

 

 But I thought you wanted me as a coach

 

 how about a player-coach

 

 Now that changes things up

 

 that’s good to hear so you in?

 

 Its tempting, ill give it a think tonight and get back to you

 

 Great hopefully you accept it

 

 

 

 

 

So I did think about it, I asked everyone I knew for advice, I even asked my dog who strangely said I should take it. But I was still unsure whether to take it or not. But that night I had a dream…………………………

 

I was on the pitch, doing what I do every week: Scoring  goals. I scored 5 goals against Central Coast Mariners with a cracker bicycle Kick from outside the box being one of them. I was on top of form but all of a sudden I was horrifically tackled.

Two feet slide tackle, I could feel it even though I was asleep, it really hurt REALLY HURT. The whole stadium was silent.

I looked at my leg and my kneecap was sticking out STICKING OUT. I started panicking and the whole medical staff came rushing in and a ambulance truck came out of nowhere and I was rushed into it.

 

 

 

 

What has happened?

 

Ambulance man: Emile……..

 

What?

 

Ambulance man: You will probably never be able to play ever again, if only you had taken that manager position, you would have been able to sub yourself off before that moment......

 

I woke up panting it then hit me……… I need to take that offer, or something bad may happen.

 

 

So the next day I went and signed the contract the whole board were over the moon to have signed me and immediately I had my first interview with the press:

 

 

 

Interviewer: This is a big surprise! You are now a professional Football Manager how do you feel about that?

 

I feel over the moon and cant wait to get underway

 

Interviewer: What are your transfer plans?

 

Well first we will need a new keeper cus the ones we have now are pretty shocking

 

Interviewer: Anything else?

 

A winger or two maybe

 

Interviewer: What made you accept this job?

 

I had a dream

 

Interviewer: What happened in the dream

 

Ah….. ok Interview over! Bye bye!

 

 

{Good one Emile, the press will be all over that now far out}

 

 

 

So with my interview done I got into training next day:

I said to the players:

"Well lads I know it may be weird to see me as your new boss, so get used to it. There will be a lot of changes around here and barely anyone’s spot is secure so show me what you got during this pre-season"

They seemed unhappy about that, but I didn't care if anyone complained they would be sacked on the spot. Im the new boss and what I say goes. Because i am THE Emile Heskey

 

I went over transfer plans with the assistant manager and he also agreed we needed a new keeper so we decided to jump in for a keeper by the name of mingote

 

 

and we bought a backup striker named Gol-Gol Mebrhatu I saw him in some games playing for Melbourne Heart and he looked promising, but we were not finished there.

 

We bought two wingers: Daniel Galbraith and Sean O’conner

 

    

 

 

 

and then a left back: Luke Bryne

 

 

 

and a young Attacking mid on loan: Guido Vadala

 

 

We then got cracking on with our two friendless. Our first against Marseille

I never expected us to win and we played surprisingly well for a team in Australia. The score ended 2-0

 

 

Then our 2^nd against a local club by the name of Blacktown city, this was so easy and the boys and I dominated

 

 

Our training was going well and the team was playing well as a unit I was proud of them.
then I got called into the office one day to an unfamiliar face

 Hello Emile

 

Umm…. Hi who are you?

 

 Im your new Board Director: Ashez

 

What happened to the old bloke?

 

 He got fired, had too much beers last night and said some bad stuff to Dec, you should seen his face he was so Angry!

 

(WHY DOESN'T ANYONE TELL ME ABOUT WHAT GOES ON AT THIS CLUB)

 

Oh welcome then 

 

 Do you have any idea why I have called you in?

 

No

 

 Well im here to tell you about your season expectations

 

Nobody told me about that

 

 What you thought it would be that easy? Your joking well anyway here it is:

 

 

 

He then handed me a sheet saying my expectations:

 

 

Personal Expectations:

* Score over 19 Goals in two seasons

* Score against every A-league team in two seasons

* Keep 2 clean sheets as a goalkeeper

 

Team Expectations:

* Just make the Playoffs

 

 

(Keep 2 clean Sheets!?? These guys are crazy)

 

Well thank you for that, no doubt I will fulfill these

 

Ashez: Well you better or you will be forced to leave the club

 

So with massive expectations on my shoulders I got ready for the season trying out different things with the team during training and it seemed good.

Our 1^st game was against Central Coast Mariners and I was pumped up I couldn’t wait!

 

 

Before the match I said this to the team:

 

Alright lads we have worked so hard in training and there is no doubt that we can go out there and play to the best of our ability, lets go get those 3 points! CMON!!

Now hands in!

 

They were all looking at me funny but still got up and did it for my sake

 

 

It was a great day, typical Australian Weather, Nice and Warm, the pitch was great and I was pumped up, I couldn’t wait this was my time to shine!

The referee looked at his watch and blew the whistle and the game was off!

 

 

 

 

But you will have to wait till the next update to read about what happened haha

Thanks for reading btw means a lot

[UKFootballScore]

haha classic!! love this! can I just say the clean sheet one might be hard alongside the score against every team one as that team your playing against would be wasted? hard to explain lol

[Fmaddict5]

Sorry guys i dont think im going to do this anymore, i just dont have the time